Friday, December 2, 2011

we could pack up and leave all our things behind. no fact, or fiction, or storyline. cause i need you more than just for tonight.


sometimes i still stare at you, amazed and absolutely enchanted. and
even though i've held your gaze a thousand times, when you turn to me and
give me that grin of yours, you still make me blush.

^those are cute

i wish i could explain your eyes, and how the sound of your
voice gives me butterflies. how your smile
makes my heart skip a beat and how every time i'm with you,
i feel so complete.


the worst pain for a girl is when she smiles, just to
keep the tears from falling. and sleeps, just so she
doesn't have to think about it.

^i'm never gonna have that :'(

in a relationship, the guy moves around a lot. he stands
in front of the girl so when things get tough, she can run into his
arms and be comforted. he stands behind her so when she thinks
she can't handle anymore and falls, he's there to catch her
and reassure her she can do anything. most importantly, he stands beside
her, so when she's ready to take on the world, he's there to hold her hand
and take it on with her.


i'm not popular, but i have good friends. i'm
not rich, but i have what i need. i may not be
liked, but i know i'm loved.


when people show up in your dreams, it's not
because they want something from you, it's
that you want something from them.

^hes so cute

i know all your flaws and yet you're still
perfect to me.
^doesnt apply to me


people say you have at least five dreams per night. that's like
30 billion dreams a year. so at least one of yours has to be about me.


^awww that's adorable

you're the first person i want to talk to when i wake up,
the last person when i fall asleep,
the one to share good news with, the one
to be upset with. i love you.


and when it comes down to it, you're
all i need to be happy.


life is like an ocean. it can be calm and still, or rough and
rigid. but in the end it's always beautiful.

^yea lets hope they dont kill each other first.

but i could not recall, a more perfect fall, cause when
i looked up into your eyes it didn't hurt at all.

^something to have at the wedding in rememberance of people who aren't there anymore

out of time, all out of fight. you are the only
thing in life that i got right.


on valentine's day, there is no charge to get married in the
empire state building's chapel.


boys, if you like her, if she makes you happy, and
if you feel like you know her, don't let her go.
~Nicholas Sparks


maybe we're too young and i don't even know what's
real. but i know i've never wanted anything
so bad. i've never wanted anyone so bad.


it breaks my heart to see so many divorces. they
make me lose faith in the most important aspect
of life: love.


too often we don't realize what we have until it's gone, too
often we're too stubborn to say "sorry, i was wrong." too often it
seems we hurt the ones closest to our hearts and we let the
most foolish things tear us apart.


don't try to perfect yourself for one person. wait for the
one that loves your imperfections.

^i won't have that either :'(

every time i smile, i think of you. it's like a habit, it's the only
thing i can do. and every time i laugh i picture you. cause
you're the one who makes me happy, and baby you know you do.


the more you read, the more things you will know.
the more you learn, the more places
you'll go.
~Dr. Seuss

^that's cute

it's the darkness of the night that finally helps you appreciate
the little lights on each side of the road.


when a girl is in love, you can see it in her smile.
when a guy is in love, you can see it in his eyes.


fall 7 times, stand up 8. get knocked down to come back
stronger. make mistakes to learn a lesson. the
good is never too far behind the bad.

^that's cutee

and now i'm thinking that everything is okay. i've got
a whole heart and sunlight on my face.


when a girl thinks of her future with her boyfriend, it's normal.
but when a boy thinks of his future with his girlfriend,
he's serious.

^that's cute too.

there's always going to be bad stuff out there. but here's the
amazing thing, light trumps darkness, every time. you can
stick a candle into the dark, but you can't stick the dark into the light.


i want the truth when the world is lying. i want
to live or at least die trying.


lets be hasty, lets be reckless. being withyou leaves me breathless.


you know who's beautiful? read the first word.


the rain falls because the cloud can no longer handle the weight.
the tears fall because the heart can no longer
handle the pain.


The beauty of a woman is not in the clothes she wears, the figure that she carries, or the way she combs her hair. The beauty of a woman is seen in her eyes, because that is the doorway to her heart, the place where love resides. True beauty in a woman is reflected in her soul. It's the caring that she lovingly gives, the passion that she shows and the beauty of a woman only grows with each passing year.


You grow up so fast in high school. It's not something you wait for, it just kind of happens.
One day you'll look back and be proud of who you've become,
while at the same time miss who you were.


maybe it's not about the ending, maybe it's
about the story.


We live and we learn. The only good thing about hitting the bottom is we know
we've had the worst of the worst and things can only get better from there.

just because i don't react, doesn't mean i don't notice.


Me? I'm scared of everything. I'm scared of what I feel, of what I've said, of who I am,
but most of all I'm scared of walking out of this room and never feeling the rest of my life
the way I feel when I'm with you.

You complete me. Really, you do. You can make me smile even when I’m in my worst mood. It’s only in your arms that I forget all my troubles and I have complete happiness. And you’re the only one who can fill that gap in my heart, that gap that will accept no one but you.


I still miss you. I still love you. You won't be forgotten.


Tell a girl she's pretty, and she won't believe you. Tell a girl she's ugly, and she'll believe you forever.


“You disappear so completely into your head sometimes, he said, I wish I could follow you.”


^that would be cool





















^thats the dress kristen stewart woree in the moviee










^hahahahah


^lmao

^ughh favoriteeeeee

Thursday, December 1, 2011

December 1st...really?

I woke up today coughing and freezing, running a fever. I walked into my moms room, ready to go to school and she told me to go back to bed. Reluctantly, I went back to sleep, upset that I was missing another day of school. I fell asleep easily, and I woke up the same way I woke up at 6:30 this morning; sick and cold. I looked at my phone, saw messages from Brian, and then I realized the date…December 1, 2011. I sat there and stared at the screen, not being able to believe that not only was it December already, but two months had gone by. Two months ago I lost not only my grandmother, but I lost my best friend. It’s amazing how much time has gone by without her, it’s even more amazing that i’m still in one piece (sorta). I started to cry after I realized what today meant to me. I still can’t believe it. I still haven’t even accepted the fact that she’s gone forever…and in reality it’s only been two months. I know that she was in pain, and she was tired because she really did put up a long battle. She lived longer than many people even thought. We called her the “energizer bunny.” Why? because every single time the doctors thought that the next sickness would kill her, she sprung back up again. She just kept on going and going, and it still amazes me to this day…how much of a fighter my Nanny really was. On October 1st, 2011, I lost my best friend. It felt like a piece of my heart was missing and that the only way to fulfil that hole..was if i got to see her one last time. Now..is that possible? Nope. But everyday I think of what I would have told her if I got to say good bye one last time. Not only would I tell her how much I would miss her, but I would tell her how amazing a person she is. How much of a fighter she has been these past nine years….and most of all how much I loved her, and how much she meant to me. I would also tell her how much her smile brightened my day…how it brightened everyones day. I pray everyday that she can hear me, that she can see what I write down on paper and on here. She was someone that you were lucky not only to have her in your life, but just to know her. I still expect Nanny to be sitting in the hospital room or in a rehab center…but that’s selfish of me…right? I don’t mean to be, I swear I don’t. But when you lose someone you love so much…how can you say goodbye? I didn’t even have a chance to say good bye. I would give anything just to see her, to talk to her, and to kiss her forehead just one last time. To tell her how thankful I am to have the honor to have taken care of her for the past nine years. To apologize when I had an attitude, or not physically or mentally strong enough to help her. No matter how many times Nanny fell down, no matter how many times she was admitted to the hospital, she always put up the best fight she could. I know that she tried her hardest that night, but I know she’s at peace and is resting easily with her husband and family. I miss her so much it hurts, I cry everyday looking at all the pictures that surround my room in frames. I still can’t believe she’s gone forever. I still can’t believe that she won’t be there to watch me get married, or to see me graduate high school. I won’t be able to run to her in excitement telling her I got accepted to a college. The last thing that Nanny had told me, well indirectly, was on September 26th, the day I got my license, my mom asked her what she wanted to say to me. My mother expected her to say, “tell her congratulations!” You know what she said instead? “Tell her I love her.” That’s going to stick with me for the rest of my life. I blame myself for not going one more time, I blame myself for not being strong enough to take care of her. As the knot in my throat starts to form now, I know that I did all I could do for her. I know that Nanny is in heaven, and she’s my guardian angel now. I’m sure of it. I know she’ll watch over me and protect me. She’ll point me in the right direction. I love her so much, the holidays won’t be the same ever again. If anyone even took the time out to read this, let me just tell you one thing. Don’t hide your feelings from the ones you love, always say I love you or spend time with them and just talk. Because you may know what you have now, but you’ll never know what you truly had…until they’re gone.

Rest in Peace my Energizer Bunny.
June 04, 1927 - October 1, 2011